Fish Pedicure.

Cthon98: hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
Cthon98: ********* see!
AzureDiamond: hunter2
AzureDiamond: doesnt look like stars to me
Cthon98: AzureDiamond: *******
Cthon98: thats what I see
AzureDiamond: oh, really?
Cthon98: Absolutely
AzureDiamond: you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
AzureDiamond: haha, does that look funny to you?
Cthon98: lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
AzureDiamond: thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
Cthon98: yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
AzureDiamond: awesome!
AzureDiamond: wait, how do you know my pw?
Cthon98: er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
AzureDiamond: oh, ok.

Dr. Randy Pausch dies today, at 47

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Guy: I was self employed. I am the owner and sole employee of the consulting company and I would be happy to answer any questions you have.
Her: No, I need to call to verify!
Guy: ...But you'll just be calling me.
Her: I have to call — what's the number?
Guy: The number of the office is [my cell number].
(note: I'm standing 2 feet directly in front of her. She dials the phone and I answer.)
Her: Hello — this is Paula from Initrode Global, calling in reference to Snoofle's employment.
Guy (both into the cell phone and to her): I know, I'm standing right in front of you.
Her (into the phone): Could you please verify the dates of Snoofle's employment at VirtuDyne, Intelligenuity and Initech?
Guy (reading from my résumé that is laying on her desk in front of her): VirtuDyne: a1 to b1, Intelligenuity: a2 to b2, and Initech: a3 to b3.
Her: Great, thank you! *click*
Guy (directly to her): ...Did you not notice that you were talking to me right here in front of you?
Her: I know, but I have to call to check these things.

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Aloy : Why is making love so enjoyable ?
PCK : Aiyah, ah boy, enjoyable because, same like when you dig your nose with your finger mah !
Aloy : Do you think women enjoy sex more than men ?
PCK : Of course lah ! When you dig dig your nose, your nose feel better than your finger, right?
Aloy : Why do women hate it when they get raped ?
PCK : Ai-yah ! Say, you walk along the load, then someone come over and dig your nose, you like or not? Ehhh! Don't play play ah!
Aloy : Why is it a woman cannot have sex when she is having her menses?
PCK : Oy !! If your nose bleeding, you still go and dig meh?? Siow ah ! Use your brain, use your brainnn
Aloy : Why is it most men don't like wearing condoms when they are making love ?
PCK : Ehhhh, when you dig your nose ah, you like to dig with a glove on your finger or not ? Not the same shioook feeling mah. Correct or not?
Aloy : Why is making love carried out in private ?
PCK : Ah boyyyyy, use your brain, use your brainnnnn. You go and dig your nose in front of your whole class izit ?? Stupid lah!!
Aloy : Wah ...... Uncle Chu Kang, you are very good.
PCK : Aiyah ...... ," Best in Singapore , JB, some say Batam, and now, the whole world!" also ah!!!

hmmm….

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Preppy friend: What?
Teen girl: If Mary was a virgin, how did she get pregnant?
Preppy friend: Uh...I think a white dove came down and landed on her.
Teen girl: ... And where did it land?
Preppy friend: On her shoulder.
Teen girl: So a dove--
Preppy friend: A white dove. Impregnated mary on her shoulder. Yeah.
Teen girl: Who told you that?
Preppy friend: Sara, in Geometry.
Teen girl: ... Sara is Jewish, you idiot!

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Tourist: Are you shooting a movie? Is that what all this is for?
Production assistant: Yes.
Tourist: Which movie? Is it a new one? Who's in it?
Production assistant: It's a new Adam Sandler movie. It's called--
Tourist: --Oh. Never mind. [Walks away.]

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Man: What?
Woman: There was a sign in the subway that said "Jesus for Jews, Jews for Jesus."
Man: Oh, that's a religous group. Haven't you ever heard of Jews for Jesus?
Woman: That shit's racist! Jesus for everybody. Jesus for people of all colors!

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Little boy: No.
Man: Why not?
Little boy: Because she gave you her number, but she already has a boyfriend! I don't like that.
Woman: Shut up. That's not true.
Little boy: If it isn't, then why did it say "Jason and Trish, together forever" on your phone, when I turned it on right now?
Woman: Together forever, my ass; now shut up!

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